So, I've posted a lot of weird psycho-sexual batstuff in my time. (And, bless the Gothamites, there's a LOT left to post. )
But should you ever ask me, "Hey, zhinxy, what's the weirdest, creepiest quote unquote 'romantic" quote unquote "metaphorical" thing EVER in a Batcomic?" I'll say..
"Batman's Dripping Stalactite of Love. "
'Cause Freud saw this and he said...
" ...DUDE."
And here we first see the Dripping Stalactite of Love, dripping as it does on what looks a lot like a cat's face. Batman wishes to have a talk with Catwoman about their relationship, and he would like to use it as a visual aid...
.
For Batman swore to fight crime not...
Y'know...
... on its face...
Jesus, that's blatant...
But he wants her to know he THINKS about it. Often.
When he comes here.
Often.
(I'd be frightened for an eternity TOO, Selina... )
Yeah...
"Someday, the dripping stalactite and the rising cat will meet and fuse."
"But not tonight? "
"No."
Is real canonical, if pre-crisis Bat/Cat dialogue. And you know, that IS kind of awesome, on SOME level... Especially if West and Newmar are reading the lines in your head...
(And for that matter he "lets it hang..." )
And she goes weak in the knees for good measure...
Look, I'm pretty much out of things to ADD to this. Except to inform Bats that if one has reached THIS point in the annals of Sexual Frustration, the point where it's expressed in shockingly obvious metaphor with rocks In ones secret cave, one has basically two options.Bang Catwoman into next Wednesday right now or walk right into Arkham, and I think it's probably waaaaay too late for either.
But I cannot stress this enough.
THIS IS FROM A REAL BATMAN COMIC.
And the THING about Batman's Dripping Stalactite of love is that it didn't just fade away after one appearance. OH NO! The Dripping Stalactite of Love came BACK!
And Bats decides he was a bit premature about the NO MERGING thing after all!
(Will she consent to that blindfold again after the letdown that was last time, that's the question... )
Note: While the Batman Nobody Knows title had been used before, and used for a more famous story, at that... I think it's really more apt in this case. Because as utterly screwed in the head as we all knew he was, we really didn't even THINK he had frequent angst sessions in front of his Moneyshot Rock Formation. Now did we?
On the other hand, does Superman have a Moneyshot Icicle for Lois outside the Fortress? Huh? I DIDN'T THINK SO! WE WIN.
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Comments
Who wrote this?
Was it Moench? It was Moench, wasn't it?
But oh god, the 80's were so hard on Harvey, between the Max Alan Collins story (I'm still so quoting you on that Jason story: "OH, FOR GOD'S SAKES, HARVEY! No, we don't envy your ability to take the stairs two at a time! Once again, some things just aren't cool to anybody but you!") and Mike W. Barr. But the Moench four-part with Circe just totally sticks in my craw more than all the rest, for some reason. And every time I read a Moench story that isn't PREY (because I love me some PREY, with Hugo Strange), they just feel... lame at best.
So really, seriously, have there been any really stellar Moench Batman stories? Besides PREY? You'd know better than I.
See, this is the thing. I ABSOLUTELY, COMPLETELY understand not liking Moench, flat-out hating Moench, even utterly and completely despising and cursing the name of Moench, because he's a maddeningly inconsistent writer who is out of his fucking gourd and it shows. (And yeah, That Circe story sucks, and I feel your pain.) And even in stories he's written that I personally really LOVE, there's often at least one moment of utter lameness/headdeskery. It's the way of the beast.
And you know, personally, I kind of dig that in some fashion. He's got this crazy, lame, deeply paranoid and whacked out vision and it just sort of WORKS for me even when the stories are crap. And even when I think they're good I can certainly see people thinking they're crap. (A thing about Moench that I never see him get credit for though, as near as I can tell, he was responsible more than any other writer or artist for Gargoyle proliferation in Gotham city. Basically, the Gargoyles are there because he LIKED gargoyles and started writing them into scripts. It's no small accomplishment when it comes to shaping the mythos. )
That said, he wrote my favorite cold war story, The Dark Rider, (I don't know if it's been reprinted, I'll try to look up the issue number for you) he wrote Cat Shadows, (Catwoman #0) which is a just fantastic Catwoman origin... He wrote Haunted Gotham, which is one of my most-liked Elseworlds (And the more famous Red Rain which I do like, the first two anyway, but not as much as some.) and I do consider his nineties run with Kelly Jones to be really solid, Very good by the standards of Nineties Batman, with a few gems in it (I will try to be more specific, I know none of it's reprinted, but my memory is a bit hazy which is what). So, yeah... I heartily recommend the above. But your mileage may vary. Anybody's mileage may vary WILDLY when it comes to Doug Moench. I don't see how it could be otherwise... ;)
thinking of following lovedatjoker's example and starting a Harvey blog.
YOU TOTALLY SHOULD! I WOULD LOVE THAT!
But oh god, the 80's were so hard on Harvey, between the Max Alan Collins story (I'm still so quoting you on that Jason story: "OH, FOR GOD'S SAKES, HARVEY! No, we don't envy your ability to take the stairs two at a time! Once again, some things just aren't cool to anybody but you!")
HEE! I forgot about that one. Thanks. :)
Edited at 2009-10-15 06:40 am (UTC)
Well, I can certainly respect the gargoyles thing! I didn't know that! But as a Harvey fan, he's written two of my least favorite Two-Face stories of all time: the Circe one, and the one with Kelley Jones in the circus, which was fucking collected in the fucking BATMAN VS TWO-FACE trade instead of something like "Eye of the Beholder" rrargh argle bargle!
But yeah, do let me know if you find that Dark Rider issue, and any others that stand out as real gems. Meantime, I'm making it a point to buy up every single issue of the Timmverse DCAU comics. Because dear lord, when they were good they were good, weren't they?
YOU TOTALLY SHOULD! I WOULD LOVE THAT!
YAY.
I posted about it a bit on my LJ, and only one person expressed interest. I really want to do this (both to spread awareness/appreciation of Harvey and to also try and carve out a reputation as being the Two-Face authority), but I do worry no one will care. So your interest means a lot to me, it really does!
"Your stubborn refusal to give up your life of crime is the reason I must spank it to unusually shaped limestone formations therefore repent?" if so that's a novel approach.
Or something.
I need it. Because I'm a superhero who can't fly.
This is my Bat-Pole.
It's faster than taking the stairs.
This is Dick.
He's my adopted son, Richard Grayson.
This is my stalactite.
I consider it symbolic. Of my penis.
...
Pre-Crisis. I wonder if it had a duplicate on Earth Two for some reason.
Edited at 2009-11-01 03:58 am (UTC)